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Thursday, December 18, 2008
Home. That always has been an abstract concept for me. I never lived in a place that I thought of as a permanent home. I always knew that where ever I lived, it was a temporary shelter; I would live somewhere else in the future. Therefore, I came to define "home" mainly as where my family was.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
I Can't Grow from The Garden by Michael McLean, Bryce Neubert, and Merrill Jenson:
Labels: Patience
Monday, December 8, 2008
My life has been hard for me. I've suffered from depression and low self-esteem. After the shock of my father's death, the depression drastically deepened. I wanted to die. I hated life and hated myself. Self-esteem was almost non-existent and I told myself all kinds of horrible stuff. I basically tortured myself for many years. It was a difficult place to come back from. And sometimes it is still difficult. For me, it has been a hard life.
But I work with teenagers who would wish for my life. I can't believe the lives they have lived in their short time. Many were introduced to drugs by their parents. Many come from abusive situations. Some have no one who wants them. My clients have lived many lives in their one life.
One girl shared some of her life story with me. I can't tell you her situation but it is shocking. The counselor said, "You've gone through a lot." The girl replied, "Yes, but I've done it all to myself." That resonated with me. I could say the same for my life. But I could never know what it has been like for her.
On the drive home I saw a kid walking down the street. He seemed to be maybe 15. He looked away from people, appearing not to want to meet anyone's eyes. He was thin and had dark circles under his eyes. He could very well have been a runaway involved with drugs. How is it to live on the streets? Will that kid be my client someday?
I was so thankful, as I watched him, that I never had to live on the streets. I am thankful that I had a good family situation. It wasn't perfect but it was loving and supportive. My family has never been rich but we always had a warm house to live in. I suffered from terrible emotional problems but I never had to turn to illegal drugs or a risky lifestyle to deal with them. There were other places for me to turn.
I truly believe that we all have different strengths and weaknesses. What is hard for me may be easy for others and visa versa. Someone else living my life may find it very difficult. We should not compare ourselves to others. But I can't help see other people's lives and admire their strength for being able to continue to live and survive. It seems almost impossible. I guess that is one benefit to serving others. When focused on other people's problems, ours seem so small.
Labels: adversity
Sunday, December 7, 2008
I love Sundays. They are very peaceful and give me time to reflect on my life. It is a time to connect with those I love and care about. It is a day to serve. Today was all of those things but very busy.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
I went to see Jon McLaughlin in concert tonight. So much fun! I actually did not think that I would like it that much. But he's a good performer and very talented. Cute too. Afterwards, he came out and signed autographs. He signed my CD. After talking to him, I noticed I was blushing. Silly me. I hope he didn't notice. :-) My camera on my phone isn't the best so some of the pictures are blurry. Sorry.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
I've been given a few different opportunities to discover more about who I am. Opportunities to question myself to reaffirm that I really believe what I believe. I have had opportunities to evaluate where I am in my life and where I want to go. I have discovered some strengths and have used talents that I haven't used in a long time. Events lately have also allowed me to see some of my weaknesses and how weak they actually are. It has been an interesting week, for sure.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
I have been stressed out lately. I noticed that my mind races with worries and feelings of inadequacy during these times. It can be really draining.
Finally the Sabbath comes and I have the opportunity to lay my problems down. I prayed for peace today and received it during church. My mind was fairly quiet and I was able to listen to the lessons. For once, I did not have worries.
Lately I have been very grateful for my relationship with God and for the ability to pray. I don't think that I could survive this life without it. My mind races and worries so much. If I did not have Heavenly Father to give my concerns to, I would go crazy. He is constantly helping me and reassuring me. He is not going to make my life easier, I don't think, but He is going to support and help me through it.
I had a friend today ask me if I believed in prayer. I told her that if there is one thing I wanted her to know it is that God hears and answers prayers. I know that to be true and I am very grateful for it.
Testing attempt number 2. This is supposed to post to facebook as well.
OK. I'm trying this blog thing again. This entry I'm not really saying much because it's a test entry. But I hope to write a full entry later today. Keep tuned.